Cutting the Crap: Tiger Woods Chasin' Tail Announced

Before Christmas Day Tiger Woods received an early present from Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer...erer...er as they publicly backed him following the reports of his (alleged) affairs. In a turnabout following reports that the watch company would sever all ties with him, the official website states 'Tag Heuer Stands by Brand Ambassador Tiger Woods'. This pioneering move, where a company has actually backed their sponsor in light of a scandal, has prompted video game company Electronic Arts to do the same.

Today EA Tiburon, a developer from the company, announced Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2011: Chasin' Tail. However in a surprising turn of events the developer is bringing in The Sims and Spore creator Will Wright to head up the next in the series. In a statement released earlier today Wright said “In light of recent events we have decided to merge the high quality sports franchise with an all new dating-sim side to the game. This will provide an unmatched level of immersion when players not only have to raise through the ranks to compete at PGA level, but also must keep tabs on their wife and all of the other fourteen women they are sleeping with on the side.”

Will Wright - the visionary game director takes on is biggest challenge yet.

As with previous entries in the series players will be able to create their own characters in game and then will compete with real life professionals, not only on the sporting field but in the personal one also. Players can choose to be male or female as with past games however it is not known whether relationships will be purely heterosexual or if gay and lesbian relationships will be permitted. In between (and sometimes during) tournaments players will have to manage all women/men in their life and as the number of partners increases the more difficult it becomes to retain your public image. Wright alludes to the two gameplay styles merging “Yeah, so the more women you have relates directly to how much tail your character will be getting, this keeps your in game character relaxed and happy and therefore at the top of his game. On the other hand players who choose to ignore that side of the game will find their characters are more stressed and tend to get frustrated easier which leads to more mistakes on the course.”

Further details have merged suggesting players can acquire sponsorship deals as their fame increases. According to the press release various sponsors have already signed up, including condom company Durex with their new slogan 'keep it secret and we'll do the rest'. In addition if a player is busted a la Mr Woods the player needs to run away to The Bahamas to relax a little.

We'll keep you updated on new details from Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11: Chasin' Tail as they become available.

Disclaimer: Note the above is entirely a work of fiction, no game exists the quotes are not from Will Wright and any similarities to real life are entirely coincidental (and probably pretty funny). So if any of you are dumb enough to go looking for Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11: Chasin' Tail or are offended by the article then you need to get a grip and learn to take a joke.